Care To Stay Home

Care To Stay Home has been a very pleasant experience for me. Their staff is warm and inviting, and their care givers are dedicated to giving the best possible care to the family members they are entrusted with. If you are looking for someone to look after your loved one and put your mind at ease, you can stop searching. It is worth it to try your luck with these people. You won't be disappointed!

Review of Care To Stay Home
1) The Owner committed fraud in billing my family 2)He has interfered with relationships within our family 3) He does not empathize with his clients The three points above will be clarified in my report. I was taking care of my mother in her house on the South Hill in Spokane from the summer of 2008 until May 15, 2012. She had collapsed in her lake cabin in Idaho and I soon thereafter cancelled my return flight to New York City where I live. I stayed with her for 9 months, getting her into physical therapy and taking her to nutritionists and doctors and doing whatever I could to protect her and keep her life enjoyable. Finally I had to return to NYC for a few months. I began looking into all the agencies that could come into the home for 24 hour shifts, narrowing it down and seeing which caretakers took best to the physical therapy and in home exercises and who had good sense about nutrition and meals. I chose "Care To Stay Home", not knowing how subversive they would turn out to be. I am referring to the owner and his [redacted], whom I will refer to as the [redacted], taken from the character who gossiped and knit as the guillotine chopped off the heads of aristocrats in "[redacted]". She had a flair for interfering into family politics and turning people against one another, then idly stand aside doing her knitting with a limp smile on her face. She would say, "Oh! I would never have said that if I thought it would turn out like this." At least two of the other caretakers told me to watch out for her, that she had asked them to spy on me. For what I don't know, but she was always gleaning for new material to tell in her secret meetings with my brother and sister-in-law. It truly became like a season in hell as my other family members would stop by occasionally but never really knew what was going on. This caretaker had convinced them that she was their ally and I was the enemy, and they never once in 4 years sat down to have a talk with me though they had their private meetings with the [redacted] maybe twice a week. Now it happened that after my few months in NYC, coming back to take care of Mom, the [redacted] had inserted herself into the family to such a degree that in a family meeting where we were to discuss mother's care, my brother had her as a major player in the family meeting, which made me very uncomfortable as she spoke with authority in a way as to demote me and trivialize the work I had been doing with my own mother. So we lived side by side for the next 3 years, with me making a trip out to NYC for a few months a year. The [redacted] would always find fault with the other caretakers, as they would all trade shifts every few days. It was always a relief when she left and I got along great with the other caretakers. They also did not like the [redacted] as she was demeaning and bossy and would go back to the Boss with her own reports on the girls. My first real run-in with the boss came one afternoon after his crew had been there for a few months. In the kitchen of my Mom's house he stated "Studies show that seniors who go to bed at 10pm live longer healthier lives." He was saying this because Mom watched an evening entertainment show every night. She and my Dad had been doing this for 50 years, and this is what Mom liked. She would laugh all the way through it and say "Oh, This is Crazy!" I replied to the boss "Well, I could show you studies that show seniors live longer healthier lives by being Happy." This became a point of attack for the next 3 years. He got my brother on his side and my brother began the attack as well. One of the caretakers told my brother on one of his visits to listen to what Mom had told her the night before. She said to mother "Tell your son what you told me last night". Mom said "I will stay up and watch my favorite show if I want to. This is My house and no one is to tell me what to do." She was 94. It appalled me that people would treat her with so little respect. It was sad that the Boss got my brother to take his side against his own mother. In December 2010 the boss brought in a Care Manager. As she reorganized the home program the Boss became upset that his employees were following what she said and reporting to her instead of taking problems to him. He had originally brought her in to stop my input. The Boss thought bringing in a Care Manager would put an end to my decision-making. Contrary to that, the Care Manager and I got along very well and together we devised strategies for Mom's needs. By the way, the Care Manager said she had never met a caretaker in all her years with the arrogance of the [redacted]. She said that this caretaker would not be there long. And in fact within a week the [redacted] was gone, not to return till after the Care Manager's departure 6 months later. The household was running fine for many months under the supervision of the Care Manager. Then she was gone. I called her to find out what had happened. She said that the Boss as well as my brother turned a cold shoulder, refusing to listen to her. She said she had Never been so disrespected and had to leave for her own sense of well-being. One plan that the Care Manager and I had put into place was for me to put my Mom to bed. This was after two years of having arguments with the Boss about my Mom's bedtime. She has been watching this evening entertainment show all the way from the 1950's till the present. My parents would watch it together. It was Mom's bedtime story, giving her comfort at the end of the day. The Boss would not let it rest. In the summer of 2011 the caretakers Boss came up with a new angle to enforce his wishes. He stated that his caretakers were not getting their 8 hours sleep as mandated. He wouldn't listen to the fact that if Mom went to bed at 12:30 and slept in until 10am, there was more than 8 hours. Plus the fact that the caretakers regularly took naps during the day off in their room, having a monitor to hear if Mom called out or rang her bell. So the Boss insisted that we have a second regimen of caretakers who would sit on the couch in the living room while the other slept in den from 10pm until 6am. Mom usually got up at anywhere from 9 until 11am so the hours didn't make sense. The overlapping shift aid got paid double the one who worked the regular 16 hour shift, and our bill doubled. The Care Manager and I thought up an alternative, for Me to put Mom to bed. I trailed with several caretakers . By the time I got to the 4th caretaker's instructions, as requested by the Boss, I had it all down, so I took over. I put Mom to bed for 3 months, thus allowing the caretakers to be off duty at 10. They often would stay up till midnight anyway. In September 2011 I returned to New York. Shortly upon arrival, I received an e-mail from my brother with allegations the Boss had made against me. He accused me of not allowing the caretakers to sleep, but made them stay up with me to put Mom to bed. It isn't logical, as it only takes one person to put her to bed, but this is what the Boss told my brother. He also said that I would not allow the caregivers to have food, and that I created so much more work for them to do as well as demanded they do things for me. I wrote my brother from New York that the Boss was delusional. I told him that I went shopping almost every day with a list made by the caretakers and I would add to. Then I would come home and fix dinner. I am a good cook and know a lot about nutrition and Mom's taste, so it was healthier for Mom to have me fix the dinner. The caretakers were welcome to whatever I made, as well as anything purchased from the store from the shopping lists they wrote up . After Mom had finished her ice cream and evening pills I would take her back to her chair. Then I would let her choose what she wanted to watch on TV or I would find something for her. I would stay with her and start getting her ready for bed when her evening show was coming on. Then once she was washed up and changed and face cream applied and when her show was over, I would get her to bed. I would put special lotions on her legs for some skin problems and would read to her while the lotion dried. If anything, I saved the caretakers the whole evening from 6 hours of work. I thought that was that. Surely my brother had witnessed this. So I was dumbfounded to get a 2nd letter containing the Boss' accusations, and an even more incensed letter from my brother. The Boss had charged our family an extra $8000. Both my brothers were upset. This had carefully been orchestrated by the Boss. Where he found a crack he applied a sledgehammer. Alone in New York I had no idea how to proceed. I thought if the caretakers are in on this too out of fear for their jobs, I have no one on my side except my mother, and they can always accuse her of being absent-minded. I called a friend of my Mom's in Spokane, a famous artist and leader of women's groups and spirituality. She suggested that I write out a questionnaire for the caretakers that asks them about the issues I'd been accused of. For example the first one said "How many times have you had to stay up to help me put Mom to bed?" then "How many times have I refused to let you eat?" I came back to Spokane from New York after 2 months there just before Thanksgiving. I called for a meeting. The two caretakers who were with Mom 6 days and nights a week from July through September, the time period in which the Boss made his allegations, both filled out the questionnaires and denied all the allegations against me. The [redacted] would not fill out the questionnaire. I was relieved to see them filled out truthfully by the other two. The Boss came to the meeting, as well as my two brothers and my Mom's artist friend who had suggested the questionnaire. When I first brought out the letters to read, The Boss became very agitated, demanding to know how I got his letter. He said I had no right to have his letter. He hadn't given it to me, so who had! he said sharply. I told him my brother had. The Boss shrunk back down. After reading his letter and my brothers letter, I then read out the two questionnaires. One of the caretakers was in the other room with Mom. At one point The Boss said his girls had Not written those answers. I said "Ok, I'll go get (the caretaker)." The Boss stopped me before I got out of the room. The Boss told me he preferred to meet with me later one on one to discuss all this. I said "Fine". Just to show the effect of his persuasiveness, neither of my brothers believed me or the caretakers. They remained with The Boss against me, the girls and my Mom, for my Mom obviously knew who was putting her to bed. And speaking of Mom, another trait The Boss showed consistently was that Mom was of inferior abilities. The caretakers would come and say he grilled them about her evening TV program with "That Son is behind it, isn't he?" (meaning me) as if she had no mind of her own. When Mom didn't like this one black girl, whom I rather enjoyed, but Mom didn't want her to work with her, Mom asked me to call The Boss. I dialed it but I didn't speak to him. I heard Mom tell him eloquently over the phone that for the most part she liked all the girls, but that she just didn't like this one. No, it wasn't anything she had done, she just didn't feel comfortable with her. When this girl showed up the next day she got angry with me saying that The Boss had told her that I wanted her out of there and that I was a racist. It was hard to convince this girl. I told her that it was not personal, Mom just didn't feel a connection with her. I said that Mom had talked to The Boss. The girl said that The Boss told her it was me who had talked to him, and that he had told her that my Mom wasn't capable of talking or making decisions. It was sad how out of touch this man was with my Mom. I really don't think he's capable of empathizing with the elderly. When the next caretaker came for her shift, she said that The Boss had told her concerning this girl, 'That Son is behind it, isn't he? He's behind it." The racism card played by The Boss was absurd. Both Mom and I greatly loved a Ugandan girl who worked with us (another victim of the [redacted]). She came to visit Mom long after she no longer worked with this company, and she and I still correspond. She is currently working in Arkansas in a program with the former President, so her leaving "Care To Stay Home" prompted by The Boss and the [redacted]es' treatment was the best thing she could have done. When I called The Boss to meet with him to discuss the questionnaires I asked him to please bring the logbooks of the caretakers because as they wrote everything in detail that it would say that I made the caretakers stay up to put Mom to bed or I refused them food (which really was not even thought out by The Boss as the names of the caretakers are all on a list at the store and they could go buy whatever they chose) or that I created extra work for them to do. The [redacted] stirred the pot a lot and pitted herself against the other caregivers. None of the other caretakers liked her and they considered her a spy for The Boss. Her relationship with him is very collusive and I only mention her because The Boss might get her to speak against this report, but I have all the other caretakers to add to the case against him, as well as the Care Manager we had and friends of mine and mothers. Also in the [redacted]es' defense, she is a lovely person with a great sense of humor and wit. She just has this insecurity in her nature that drives her to create wedges and enmities between people. She admitted to me that she would change stories around so give herself credit for what others had done. She has an unquenchable thirst for attention and pomposity. The day before I was to meet with The Boss he sent me a note saying he didn't feel comfortable bringing the logs to our meeting. He didn't feel right about me looking at his documents and we really should just start with a clean slate. I told him that the only way there would be a clean slate was if he either proved his accusations or paid our family back or wrote me a letter of apology for how he slandered me to my family. The Boss avoided me and would not ever return my phone calls. One time I got hold of him and Now he said that the accusations were not written in the log-books. He said that the caretakers Told him about the complaints but not written them down. I told him that that made no sense as he insisted they write everything down, especially problems like these. Then he stopped by the house in the Spring of 2012 and before he could get past me I stopped him again. He denied that what he had done was slander, even though it led my brother to threaten me with making up for the $8000 I was costing the family by my behavior, nor was it fraud, even though he had received the money through false accusations. This time he said that the reason the girls filled out the questionnaires exonerating me was because I intimidated them. I told him that was so preposterous, that I could intimidate them More than their boss and More than my brother who paid them. I have no power in the equation. it would have been more safe for them to side with their Boss. Every caretaker who had any sense of decency has left his business. I have all the letters and e-mails and questionnaires concerning the overcharge by The Boss which I can make copies of and submit to you. The Boss should not be in the line of work he has chosen as his motives are purely monetary and he has no empathy whatsoever for the elderly. I would like him to return the $8000 to our family estate and write me a letter of apology for the fraudulent accusations he made concerning me. I write this as a warning to any children or family members of a beloved senior citizen: monitor very carefully anyone being left alone with your loved one, and if you see "Care To Stay Home" on the horizon, run in the opposite direction.
This customer had a NEGATIVE experience with this business.
This customer WOULD NOT recommend the business to a friend, family member, neighbor or colleague.
by Michael M. on 2/17/2014 | Submit a Customer Review
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